From Feeling Overwhelmed to Feeling Good
Do you find that December - the lead up to Christmas, all the festivities over Christmas and then the close of the year - can be like a lens magnifying areas of your life?
For some, December brings a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the past year with a feeling of warmth, achievement and pride. It can be a time to celebrate all that has been achieved and can leave you brimming with gratitude as to the love, relationships, good health and privileged lives that we are enveloped within.
December can be a juggling act like no other!
For others, however, December can be a juggling act like no other! It was for me…
Juggling clients, who all seem to want everything ‘yesterday’ due to the psychological deadline of the end of the year; Juggling networking opportunities of various Christmas parties and events; Juggling your own wants for example to send out Christmas cards and not leave until the last minute the buying of Christmas presents for loved ones; Juggling family commitments with the need for rest over the Christmas holidays.
Working as an Employment Lawyer I thrived off not knowing what each day would bring, learning so much every day, meeting so many different people in different locations, applying the law to so many different circumstances and being highly challenged every day. I would view my work as a creative process of sculpting commercial solutions from problems and I loved it!
However, in December, with all the competing demands of the festive season I was often left feeling sluggish, struggling to sleep, in need of some self-care and unable to fully enjoy the festivities over Christmas and New Year as I felt like I was just ‘getting through’ rather than feeling good.
Although I knew December was supposed to be a time of happiness and fun, for me it would often be overwhelming and exhausting. I would sometimes worry about how I would find the energy to do it all again the next year and the next and the next and the next…
However, January would come around and I’d ignore my feelings and just get back on that treadmill. Again.
Slowly, how I felt in December became how I felt every day. I wasn’t aware of it creeping in but it did. The magnifying glass on my life in December should have been the warning sign of what was to come.
Until this year! In 2018 I decided to do something about it!
I confess, this wasn’t completely an independent decision… in 2017 I had hit the metaphorical ‘brick wall’. I burnt out because – year after year - I was ignoring everything I described above and my mind and body would no longer let me get away with it.
I therefore decided to completely change my life; In June 2018 I left my career. I left my profession. I left the business I had started. I threw it all in the air to pursue the holy grail… A work-life balance. Actually, it wasn't even that. It was to create a life-life balance where my physical and mental health became my priority rather than a balancing necessity!
I wanted to trade in the feelings of exhaustion and being overwhelmed, to instead, feeling well and good, feeling confident in navigating my environment to ultimately fly free and reach incredible heights!
I am not suggesting that you need to do something so extreme to achieve the same result but I know that it is achievable for you too. But how? I hear you ask! Especially when a work-life balance seems to be an unattainable goal!
Well, what I have realised and learned to a deeper level than ever before is that any change needs to start with the Self. For me, that means building a relationship with My Inner Six Year Old.
Caring for ourselves or, for me, giving My Inner Six Year Old some extra TLC at this time of year is a must. Even if I don’t have the energy to go to the gym, I will take some time to go for a walk. To fill my lungs with the delicious fresh winter air, look up at the trees and the sky to help me gain perspective and to check in on my five senses.
When I had Vinni (my beautiful English Springer Spaniel), walking had to be part of my day and he would bring laughter and inject joy into my mornings. Since he died in the Summer, just after his 13th Birthday, I now have to create that for myself. I have to coax my Inner Six Year Old out into the cold.
How do I do it?
I have a few ways to incentivise My Inner Six Year Old. One way is knowing what my Purpose is so that I can remind myself of why we want to go out for a walk. Another way is gathering people together; through the weekly ‘Valks!’ (a weekly walking group I have set up in the Village where I was raised and my parents still live) my Inner Six Year Old gets as excited as the doggy chums that join me and the wonderful new friends I have discovered.
You may be thinking; “this is all well and good but that won’t help me when I have to be back in the office on Wednesday”
Well I would challenge you that you can translate this to your life as a high performer or a leader of a high performing team!
I would challenge you to create environments whereby you are able to look after yourself and your team are encouraged to look after themselves when the pressure rises. Not just in December but throughout the year.
Often a challenging environment is exciting and inspiring but if each challenge is not balanced with enough of the right type of support then it can lead to the creation of a stressful environment, inconsistent high performance and ultimately burn out.
Instead, by following the Skylark Path to Liberating Leadership you can create a healthier life for yourself and the team you lead:
Start with ‘Self’; what is your purpose, your values, what motivates you, what are your strengths and capabilities what makes you feel good?
Create your vision; what is your vision for your life and your team?
Get to know your environment; who do you work for and who works for you? What is their capability? What motivates them?
Mobilise your Inner Six Year Old and your team members towards navigating the environment to bring your vision to life. What steps need to be taken within the capabilities that you and your team have?
Develop your Inner Six Year Old and your team members through personal development and stretching their horizons so that you can all fly free.
Enable your Inner Six Year Old and your team members through full delegation. Once you and your team are self-reliant, whilst knowing that they have your support, you can all reach incredible heights!
If you would like to know how you can join the Skylark Flock so that you can Feel Good, Navigate your Environment, Fly Free and reach Incredible Heights then please do contact me by private message.
Finally, I wish you a Happy New Year and hope that 2019 brings you that life-life balance that you deserve!